I was going through a hard time once. Each day was hard. Every night was hard. There was bad stuff coming and nothing I could do would change it. It would be worse soon. Three times a week I would go to the Zen center on my way home. I would bow and enter the meditation hall and at the sound of the gong I sat down on my pillow facing the wall. I crossed my legs, settled my body, took a few deep breathes and began to count my breaths. One to ten, one to ten. Then the emotion would rise up like a huge wave. I could see it and feel it. I sat there and counted the breath as it swamped me.
Just be with it. let it arise. feel it. let the breath help you to stay in the moment. feel the body sensations associated with all this. feel where the pain is. count the next breath. here comes another wave. breath. here comes the anger wave. breath. it burns and hurts. breath. here comes the loss. breath. I am drowning in it. breath. here comes the regret. here comes something so hurtful it have no name for it. breath. Meditation gong.
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